The best moments of life are summerised in love. Dripping in it, saturated with it and would never survive without it. Love.
Awk! It mades me go all fuzzy inside, because I'm right in the middle of a serious gooey, soft as caramel, happy relationship (William was warned about being mentioned, hello Will =]).
What is love? The dictionary, well the online dictionary, has 14 different definitions under "love", but for today I'm onto numero four; "a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart." * Well, to be fair... that's a pretty poor definition.
Anywho, I love love. I love being in love.
But I love knowing what is love and what isn't. Because that is oh-so-important to the survival of my very precious soul.
I have been in a fair few relationships since the age of 15, and I can't honestly claim that any of them weren't dysfunctional. Everyone's had messed up teenage relationships (I will here and now admit I still am, to all intents and purposes still a teenager... but a teenager who will one day, relatively soon, cease to be a teen). I've had the good (but volatile), the bad (which got even worse) and the ugly (that one you wish you could tip-exx out).
In each of these example relationships, all the boys said they, either to the best of their knowledge or in an attempt to make me happy, loved me. I said it back to the good and the bad, but avoided Ugly. Ugly pure scared my cack's clean off though. One week after "will you go to the cinema with me" was the 15 year olds equivilant of "it's not you, it's me" with him in tears on the other end of the phone. Sheesh. And that is when I realised, I don't fall for anything because I stand for something.
With Bad, I thought I was in love, but had huge doubts. That relationship lasted a good 8 months though, I got too comfortable. By the time it was coming to an end I was bored and knew that life had to have better.
Then along came Good.
Good was a great guy, I can give him that. But at the time we started up, we were both at the height of our teenage angst. We fought a lot and it fell apart.
I'm not sure if I loved him or not. I think back now, and I realise how my head was all spagetti and think that I may have done. But it wasn't a holistic love, and how much damage all the fighting did to my heart.
For six months after it ended, and I was the one to end it, I cried myself to sleep every night. I was inconsolable. That was in July 2007. The first words he had ever said to me since then were in July 2009. It had gotten to a point in this period of him walking into me as if I wasn't there.. that I began to loathe him. I couldn't be in the same room as him.
I really resented him for what he was now doing to me.
BUT. This no longer matters. Good is now dating one of my best friends and they seem fairly intoxicated with each other. It also means he can't hate me. I'm on the damn bridesmaid list.
These three highlighted, and therefore significant, experiences played a massive role in making me the person I am now, and I fail to see how I am in any way lacking in any area of my life. So I imagine that must be a good trait to have.
Do we choose the people we fall in love with?
Well I certainly didn't choose my boyfriend! The very fact we met at all can only be fate, our first kiss was never planned and the first time we said "I love you" was instinctive and impulsive.
No part of our relationship was ever sat down and written out (metaphorically, to literally plan a relationship can only be a wee bit odd..).
But then... if I didn't choose him for his skillz on the drums or the fact he's left handed (and I for some reason seem to find this quite attractive; go figure) why do I love him?
I have it down to "fit". I'm proud to say he's my best friend, and I can't understand why no one else wouldn't want their best friend as their partner (unless you're not that way inclined, of course!). I love him because our senses of humour click, he really talks to me and I really talk to him, because we have no secrets, our kisses make the earth stop moving and our hands fit together as if they've been tailor made. There are so many other reasons but those are the things that come to mind when people would ask me why.
I remember having a conversation with one of my childhood friends. This conversation came after about 5 years of non-contact, and she had became pregnant with, and given birth to, her son. She was no longer with the father, that relationship had seemingly run it's course and she was engaged to another fellow (not long after this conversation that relationship also came to it's conclusion). She was asking me about any boys in my life. I didn't have any! I told her I was happy by myself. This seemed to shock her! She then asked about my school friends, who were all single as well, and perfectly happy. This seemed to get her even more and she wondered aloud about why my girl and guy friends don't continually go off with each other, just for the craic.
I mean whoa.
What kind of thing is that for someone to even consider OK? Why don't you just take your heart, rip it out of your chest and hand it over to these people, sometimes strangers, to do with whatever they fancy! Heck, you might as well, you just gave them your body.
How little would you ever have to think of yourself to not value your body and heart above some cheap thrills? To keep your integrity and respect.
I'm a virgin for those very reasons. Not because I don't want to sleep with the person I love, but because I'm cautious. My heart and my soul are the two things I value most in the world. When it comes to love I like to think as well as be impulsive.
I think this helps with the further definition of a good relationship. Being with someone who respects and tries to empathise with your decisions.
All these things can lead to a very happy soul indeed.
The song "If I Were A Boy" by Beyonce really gets under my skin.
Don't get me wrong -- I love beyonce (different type of love here... I'm pretty sure we'll never get engaged...) but how she generalises boys in that song really makes me itch.
"If I were a boy, I would turn off my phone Tell everyone it's broken so they think that I was sleeping alone I'd put myself first and make the rules as I go Cause I know that she'd be faithful, waiting for me to come home To come home"
I hate this. I fully do. My best friends are boys! What the heck does she think she's doing? And what is she doing with men who treat her like that? Will has said that a boyfriend who you're male friends like is best because they can see his other side (if he has one, he shouldn't though!) and hear the jokes he makes about you (if he makes them, he definitley shouldn't). If you're good male friends like any new boyfriend you can be pretty certain he isn't a dirty two faced sex driven... beast. (for Mark)
Any girl out there who thinks of their significant other when they hear this song should get out before they get crushed. Men like this are an insult to all the great guys out there. And there really are great, fantastic wonderful guys. I have one as my own, and am lucky enough to know a large number who're great friends.
The only times I've heard boys who've spoken about girls and sex in a derogatory way have been in a large group in high school (the good guys never speak in these conversations) and in my halls.. all coming from one individual!
How can they ever end up happy with that mindset?
Comments...!
reference : * http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/love
Awk! It mades me go all fuzzy inside, because I'm right in the middle of a serious gooey, soft as caramel, happy relationship (William was warned about being mentioned, hello Will =]).
What is love? The dictionary, well the online dictionary, has 14 different definitions under "love", but for today I'm onto numero four; "a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart." * Well, to be fair... that's a pretty poor definition.
Anywho, I love love. I love being in love.
But I love knowing what is love and what isn't. Because that is oh-so-important to the survival of my very precious soul.
I have been in a fair few relationships since the age of 15, and I can't honestly claim that any of them weren't dysfunctional. Everyone's had messed up teenage relationships (I will here and now admit I still am, to all intents and purposes still a teenager... but a teenager who will one day, relatively soon, cease to be a teen). I've had the good (but volatile), the bad (which got even worse) and the ugly (that one you wish you could tip-exx out).
In each of these example relationships, all the boys said they, either to the best of their knowledge or in an attempt to make me happy, loved me. I said it back to the good and the bad, but avoided Ugly. Ugly pure scared my cack's clean off though. One week after "will you go to the cinema with me" was the 15 year olds equivilant of "it's not you, it's me" with him in tears on the other end of the phone. Sheesh. And that is when I realised, I don't fall for anything because I stand for something.
With Bad, I thought I was in love, but had huge doubts. That relationship lasted a good 8 months though, I got too comfortable. By the time it was coming to an end I was bored and knew that life had to have better.
Then along came Good.
Good was a great guy, I can give him that. But at the time we started up, we were both at the height of our teenage angst. We fought a lot and it fell apart.
I'm not sure if I loved him or not. I think back now, and I realise how my head was all spagetti and think that I may have done. But it wasn't a holistic love, and how much damage all the fighting did to my heart.
For six months after it ended, and I was the one to end it, I cried myself to sleep every night. I was inconsolable. That was in July 2007. The first words he had ever said to me since then were in July 2009. It had gotten to a point in this period of him walking into me as if I wasn't there.. that I began to loathe him. I couldn't be in the same room as him.
I really resented him for what he was now doing to me.
BUT. This no longer matters. Good is now dating one of my best friends and they seem fairly intoxicated with each other. It also means he can't hate me. I'm on the damn bridesmaid list.
These three highlighted, and therefore significant, experiences played a massive role in making me the person I am now, and I fail to see how I am in any way lacking in any area of my life. So I imagine that must be a good trait to have.
Do we choose the people we fall in love with?
Well I certainly didn't choose my boyfriend! The very fact we met at all can only be fate, our first kiss was never planned and the first time we said "I love you" was instinctive and impulsive.
No part of our relationship was ever sat down and written out (metaphorically, to literally plan a relationship can only be a wee bit odd..).
But then... if I didn't choose him for his skillz on the drums or the fact he's left handed (and I for some reason seem to find this quite attractive; go figure) why do I love him?
I have it down to "fit". I'm proud to say he's my best friend, and I can't understand why no one else wouldn't want their best friend as their partner (unless you're not that way inclined, of course!). I love him because our senses of humour click, he really talks to me and I really talk to him, because we have no secrets, our kisses make the earth stop moving and our hands fit together as if they've been tailor made. There are so many other reasons but those are the things that come to mind when people would ask me why.
I remember having a conversation with one of my childhood friends. This conversation came after about 5 years of non-contact, and she had became pregnant with, and given birth to, her son. She was no longer with the father, that relationship had seemingly run it's course and she was engaged to another fellow (not long after this conversation that relationship also came to it's conclusion). She was asking me about any boys in my life. I didn't have any! I told her I was happy by myself. This seemed to shock her! She then asked about my school friends, who were all single as well, and perfectly happy. This seemed to get her even more and she wondered aloud about why my girl and guy friends don't continually go off with each other, just for the craic.
I mean whoa.
What kind of thing is that for someone to even consider OK? Why don't you just take your heart, rip it out of your chest and hand it over to these people, sometimes strangers, to do with whatever they fancy! Heck, you might as well, you just gave them your body.
How little would you ever have to think of yourself to not value your body and heart above some cheap thrills? To keep your integrity and respect.
I'm a virgin for those very reasons. Not because I don't want to sleep with the person I love, but because I'm cautious. My heart and my soul are the two things I value most in the world. When it comes to love I like to think as well as be impulsive.
I think this helps with the further definition of a good relationship. Being with someone who respects and tries to empathise with your decisions.
All these things can lead to a very happy soul indeed.
The song "If I Were A Boy" by Beyonce really gets under my skin.
Don't get me wrong -- I love beyonce (different type of love here... I'm pretty sure we'll never get engaged...) but how she generalises boys in that song really makes me itch.
"If I were a boy, I would turn off my phone Tell everyone it's broken so they think that I was sleeping alone I'd put myself first and make the rules as I go Cause I know that she'd be faithful, waiting for me to come home To come home"
I hate this. I fully do. My best friends are boys! What the heck does she think she's doing? And what is she doing with men who treat her like that? Will has said that a boyfriend who you're male friends like is best because they can see his other side (if he has one, he shouldn't though!) and hear the jokes he makes about you (if he makes them, he definitley shouldn't). If you're good male friends like any new boyfriend you can be pretty certain he isn't a dirty two faced sex driven... beast. (for Mark)
Any girl out there who thinks of their significant other when they hear this song should get out before they get crushed. Men like this are an insult to all the great guys out there. And there really are great, fantastic wonderful guys. I have one as my own, and am lucky enough to know a large number who're great friends.
The only times I've heard boys who've spoken about girls and sex in a derogatory way have been in a large group in high school (the good guys never speak in these conversations) and in my halls.. all coming from one individual!
How can they ever end up happy with that mindset?
Comments...!
reference : * http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/love
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